The secrets out!!

So I am literally the worst at keeping secrets, & I must say that I’ve done pretty good at keeping this one on the down low, I’ve only told a total of 5 people. Not even my family members know that I have this secret. 

But I CANNOT keep it a secret any longer. The excitement has been driving me crazy. So here goes nothing……

On December 13th, 2014 I will become endowed. 

Before you get ahead of yourself with curiosity, no I am not serving a mission and no I am not engaged to be married. I am simply becoming endowed because I am ready. I have learned, pondered and studied about it for almost a year now. 

At first I felt the need to rush into getting endowed. See this is due to the fact that within my journey of becoming an active member again, there has always been some sort of progression. Changing my entire lifestyle was a process, receiving my temple recommend was a process, receiving my patriarchal blessing was a process, reading and understanding the Book of Mormon was a process. I was always striving for that next step. 

But this step took a lot of long hard thinking. It’s different. I finally realized that it was a decision that I wanted to take my time in making. Not only that but I wanted to be as prepared as possible, which required studying diligently, expanding my knowledge and growing more in tune with the spirit, twelve weeks of temple prep classes, and a lot of prayer. It for sure wasn’t something that I decided to do overnight.  It hasn’t been the easiest decision to make but it’s the right decision for me. Yes, as a girl it will require me to make a lot of sacrifices clothing wise, and as I’ve been preparing I’ve been more tempted than ever to back out. Constant reminders that not everyone around me is going to understand and approve of my decision made choosing to do so regardless of support even harder.  But if any of you know me, you know that when I set my mind to something I don’t stop until I accomplish it. My main hesitation was the thought of, ‘I want to be able to share this experience with a significant other.’ ‘What if my future husband was looking forward to taking me through the temple to receive my endowments.’ 

But here’s my conclusion regarding that: My decision to receive my endowments and make sacred covenants does not involve my future eternal companion. It involves me and my loving Heavenly Father. It’s as simple as that. Someday I’ll be able to share and experience being sealed to the love of my life. But until then, there is no reason why I shouldn’t be strengthening my faith and covenants within the gospel that I love so very much. 

I could go on and on about how excited I am to be able to take this step within the gospel. I am literally ecstatic about it. Temples are literally my safe haven, I am so blessed to have the opportunity to go inside. If any of you are considering it, the thoughts and promptings are there for a reason. I am an open book as far as my process  in deciding to go through the temple. Don’t hesitate to ask me any questions, because I would love to share. For now, I’ll leave you with the amazing photos taken by Rachel Mariesa Photography, she did an amazing job capturing this special occasion for me. 

 

XOXO-Miss LC

Trials into Triumphs.

This post is going to be a bit personal but I thought it was worth a share. So during my senior year of a high school I went through some pretty hard things. It threw me into a depression which ultimately lead to me making a lot of mistakes. I was living life, going through the motions, and yes there were lots times that I was happy but I never realized until recently I wasn't genuinely happy. My happiness depended on other things, my grades in school, who I was currently dating, how much money I had, peoples approval on my choices, etc. All things that would eventually work out on their own. I have to admit there were times that I would just fall into this mode where nothing mattered and I didn't want to bother putting effort into 'being happy'. I would be so frustrated and upset with others as well as myself because for some reason, no matter how hard I'd try I wasn't truly happy. Other times my life was fun and seemed to be going great. I had great relationships, school was effortless, etc. Looking back on the past four years of my life I think a lot about the trials that I faced during those years. Ultimately these trials lead me to turning to the gospel. Around April of 2011 I realized that even though I wasn't active in the church I always prayed, in most cases pleaded and cried with God that things would work out in certain aspects of my life. I made the decision that I wanted to start going back to church, even though I had made the decision I didn't act upon it until October 2012. During the time between my decision and actually acting upon it I had begun making better choices slowly but surely, I hadn't gone to church but I had stopped hanging out at parties as much, I was living my life and thought it was good. Eventually I started going to a singles ward in October and knew I wanted to obtain a temple recommend. So I did just that. It wasn't easy but I accomplished it. I had completely changed my life in order to do so. During the process of receiving my temple recommend I was in a relationship that meant a lot to me. I was happy. But when that relationship ended I was more broken than I had ever been before. Again, my happiness depended so much upon something that left me hanging. Being completely shattered, I literally had nowhere to turn to besides the gospel. I had already changed my life so much, but I knew that there is always time for self-improvement. The ending of this relationship (I'll spare you all the sappy/hardship details) inspired me to form a closer relationship with Heavenly Father. This gospel was and literally is my strength. I focused on myself, I began focusing on learning the gospel and allowed it to become my distraction from the sadness of the world.

I've learned to realize that as we put our trust in Heavenly Fathers plan and strive to better ourselves within the gospel true happiness can be found. I know that Heavenly Father has a hand in even the smallest aspects of our lives. Literally he knows exactly when and where things need to be placed. I know that I went through these four years, to get me to where I am now. I know that even on the bad days there are tender mercies to be found. I was writing one of my close friends who is currently serving an LDS Mission and I wrote the following: 

I keep thinking to myself, 'wow this is a feeling I've been missing out on for so long, I feel like it's too good to be true, I never want it to end.' Seriously I am genuinely happy and so immensely blessed because of this gospel. Don't get me wrong, I still go through trials every single day. Life isn't easy. And sometimes living by the standards of the gospel can be an tiring process, but this happiness is so worth it. For example I wrote this about two weeks ago: 

"You know those times when you feel as though, 'I want one thing to turn out, just for once I want things to work.' As I was thinking those exact same things this morning I came to the realization that the one thing in my life that has consistently worked out is putting faith into this gospel and receiving the strength to push past whatever difficult moment I am facing, regardless of if it's big or small. Within this faith I know that things WILL eventually work, with school, with my career, with family, with financial situations, with dating, etc. Lately there have been random unexplained moments of difficulty in my life, but I know as I keep trying and keep putting my best effort in, things will work out." 

And it's true. Depending upon this gospel has brought so many blessings and so much happiness into my life. It doesn't depend on the guy I am dating, the fact that I am in need of a better paying job, or that I am unsure weather I'll be able to pursue my dream career. Although yes all of these things working out would be great, they are simply bonuses that ADD to my happiness, NOT make or break my happiness. 

Depression is real, but so is this happiness. I am thankful for both because they have allowed me to grow. Your trials have the possibility to shape you and lead you to this happiness. Take your trials and turn them into triumphs.

XOXO-Miss LC

Abundant Awareness.

So I am the worst at blogging lately! Sorry everyone! I promise I'll be better! I've been super busy lately, I took 7 summer credits of upper division classes and finished them in two weeks because I will be working this summer as a health counselor for EFY. Which leads me into today's post. Last week I had the amazing opportunity to pick up an extra week working at Especially For Youth. This was completely unplanned for me because I still had 17+ papers to write, along with a midterm and a final, but someone really needed that week covered so I decided to take it for them.
Honestly, going into that week was absolutely terrifying. I have never worked during the summer for EFY, let alone as a health counselor (rumored to be one of the toughest jobs)! And let me tell you...I have never worked harder in my life than I do working as a health counselor. The hours are long, seriously it is a 24/7hr. job because we are expected to be there Sunday thru Saturday and are on call at all hours during the day and night. Not only did each day leave my physically drained but also mentally drained. I was literally running all around campus (sprinting at one point) with a 10lb bag full of medical supplies all week. I knew this job might be tough but coming into it I had no idea that this is what was going to be expected of me. There were points that I was thinking "oh goodness this is going to be a long summer." With that being said, I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Here's why: Throughout the week the youth is involved in a lot of spiritual activities and because of health counselor duties I wasn't really able to sit in on really any of it. This bummed me out because I figured that accepting this job I'd be able to sit in on classes and grow spiritually, but my responsibilities hadn't exactly allowed it. I decided that I was going to make the best of my week regardless of whatever situation I was in and as soon as I changed my mindset numerous spiritual experiences poured in. Each day I was able to find something spiritual that had happened. For example, I was taking care of a girl and was able to talk with her a little and hear her testimony, as I was talking to her I realized it wasn't me, it was the spirit speaking through me to her. I've only ever had one other experience with this and it is so amazing. There are no words to explain it, it helps me understand what it's like to be a modern-day missionary and for that I am beyond grateful. Something else that happened was me losing my personal car keys. I was going to run home real quick to grab my textbook and realized the keys to my apartment and car were nowhere to be found. I literally searched everywhere, no joke, I even checked the fridge. I was freaking out and calling my mom didn't exactly help. Panicking, I went to our site office (where we have daily meetings, etc.) and a member of my team Tanner realized I was upset, he asked if I was okay and of course that's the question that ALWAYS makes me cry. He gave me a hug and without even hesitating everyone on my team was helping me look. I had already said a prayer and was able to calm down thanks to my incredible team. I made the choice to not worry about it and accept the consequences of paying for new ones if I had to. The next morning the lady in charge of cleaning the building gave a pair of car keys to a member on my team and guess who's keys they were?! Mine! The biggest thing that happened was my realization that our Heavenly Father is well aware of my situation and feelings. See, I was writing in my journal one night and was completely overwhelmed with just how aware Heavenly Father is of me and my life. As I was writing I realized that I am working this job for a reason. And although it's hard, it has reminded me of why I am so passionate about working in the healthcare field. Lately I have completely lost hope of being able to work in the medical field and have even gone as far as changing my major (to something that is completely uninteresting to me) but being here, working this job has been such a blessing because it helped remind me of my passion. My passion to become a registered nurse. It helped my to know that our Heavenly Father is aware of my lost hope, my actual desires and the prayers I thought had gone unheard. He is aware of the fact that I am not in nursing school yet and the thought of having to give that up has absolutely crushed me. He is aware. As much as you may think he isn't, I promise he is fully aware and knows what you are going through. It can sometimes feel like he isn't there and he hasn't heard your pleading prayers, but he has. You may not fully recognize his presence in your daily life, but I promise if you look and listen, you will find his hand in your daily blessings and tender mercies. Not always will it be apparent, it might be something simple and small. But that something simple and small can make the biggest impact on your life. Depend on your faith, allow Heavenly Father to carry you through your trials. I know it can be something that is extremely hard to do but in order for him to help you, you've got to be willing to let him. It takes patience and a lot of trust, but as you develop these things within your Heavenly Father you will grow to know that he is aware. Try it. That's all it takes, trying and a little bit of effort to listen and you will see that he is aware. His awareness is abundant.

XOXO-LC

A Step Towards Modesty.

It's getting to be that time of year again where the weather is warming up and the options in my closet are seeming to be less and less. I say this because last summer I chose to start dressing more modestly. Little by little I started getting rid of everything in my closet that I could not make modest. This was HUGE for me because if any of you know me you know that I am big into fashion, modeling and I also work at Hollister. Giving up my short shorts and crop tops was a big step, I have even gone as far as investing into multiple one pieces! That's right MULTIPLE....I never ever thought that I would be caught dead in a one piece or tankini but now that I've owned one I think they are so fun! Don't get me wrong I will always have my bikinis (currently at about 20ish bikinis) but I've began to love my one pieces (currently owning 5 or so). There wasn't really a legit reason for me doing this, I'm not going on a mission, I'm not getting married and even my bishop told me that modesty is one of those things that I don't need to put too much stress into because I have yet to take those sacred covenants, regardless of this I decided it's something I wanted to do. Although I am far from perfect and am not completely modest 24/7 (for example when work req. wearing shorts, etc.), modesty is something that I value a lot. Dressing modestly helps me to have confidence, it has opened up possibilities of attracting the right kind of guys and also makes it easier to dress modestly on a day-to-day basis. I figure when I do make those sacred covenants in the temple it will allow the transition to become much easier.

Dressing modestly has blessed my life for many reasons, the reasons mentioned above, along with being blessed with the spirit! I've noticed a huge difference in being able to recognize and feel the spirit! The little things really make the biggest impact!

I wanted to help inspire others to take a step towards modesty, even if it's just a little one, so I am having a giveaway! Not just a little giveaway but a huge giveaway! The winner will be able to take that step towards modesty by winning some way cute things from an amazing company called Winsome Jones! They have THE cutest modest clothing. I purchased my first modest skirt from their website and tend to be a frequent shopper.

Here's to taking a step towards modesty! Follow instructions below to win!

Winner will receive:

 1 Floral Print Shirt

 1 Navy Midi Skirt with Bowtie Belt

^^^^^It even has POCKETS!!

This cute pink/gold necklace

& also a $10 gift card

In order to win: 'subscribe' to my blog, 'like' Miss LC  on Facebook, 'follow' @_miss_lc on instagram & leave a comment on the photo posted below (either on my fb page OR instagram) explaining: How taking a step to dressing modestly will affect your life, along with your preferred sizes (FloralShirt:S-L, Skirt:S-L).

****If you're a guy wanting to win for your girl do everything the same except comment on this blog explaining what your girl dressing modestly means to you!

All steps must be completed in order to win!

Questions? Feel free to Contact Me

Winner will be announced on April 30th, 2014!!!!

XOXO-LC

Humming along.

So lately I've been finding myself humming hymns more often than not. It's silly to me because I recognize and can hum a hymn but have no idea what the words are! I discovered that I created a new habit, whenever I am trying to get certain thoughts out of my head (anything from temptation to a thought from the past) I think of I am a child of god or hum a tune of a hymn. It got me thinking, I am in a sense subcountiously inviting the spirit in because I was in need of it. Hymns invite the spirit and I was doing just that. It really surprises me how something so simple can make such a big impact! I want to challenge you! The next time you are faced with a temptation or simply feel like you might need to feel the spirit, hum a hymn! Do your best to just focus on that and nothing else, it helps! I want you all to try it and let me know how it goes!

Also on a side note, did you know pandora has a station for Lds hymns?!? There are some beautiful piano pieces on that station!

Ok ok so I'm sure you're all wondering what my announcement is...........
On my next blog post I'm going to be doing a huge giveaway! So make sure to watch for it and follow for your chance to win! :)


Until then, keep humming along!
XOXO-LC

Protection.

This has been a post that I've been wanting for write for quite a while now. I was in stake conference some time ago and Elder Tom L. Perry spoke. He mentioned something that stuck with me and stayed in my heart. He spoke about how there has been a lot of talk about women wanting the priesthood in the church. He talked about how women and men have very important responsibilities in the home.Men are entitled to the priesthood and women are entitled to being mothers. The responsibility of replenishing the earth, being a mother and raising children is God's greatest gift. God gave the priesthood to men in order for them to do their part involving God's greatest gift, protection. Eternal marriage allows the priesthood to be in the home and hearts of mothers everywhere, it allows men to live up to one of their many amazing responsibilities of protecting themselves, their families, their wives and their children.

This stuck in my heart because it is so true. See, growing up, I never had the priesthood in my home, there was never someone around who held the priesthood. I think this is a part of why I appreciate and value it so much. The power to be blessed and protected. I never really had that, I now know years later that it is something that I desire to have in my future home. I am so very grateful for the priesthood. One day I was reading through Moroni and all throughout chapters 1-5 I gained an all new appreciation for the priesthood, reading through these chapters allowed me to gain knowledge that I hadn't had previously. I still have a lot to learn and technically I still don't know a lot when it comes to the priesthood and all it in-tells but from what I do know I know it is something to be thankful for. Especially recently, I have been going through a lot and struggling more with certain trials than I'd like to be, I was fortunate enough to ask one of my closest friends, who is actually more like a brother for a blessing. If he didn't have the priesthood I wouldn't be able to have been given the blessing that I was in need of.

I found an amazing quote I'd like to share:
"We must be men that women can trust, that children can trust,  that god can trust."
-Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Personally I think the last part is the most important, being men that god can trust in. If every guy strived just a little bit to live up to this quote I think we would have uncountable numbers of amazing men in today's world. The priesthood holds a very appreciative part of my heart, I think sometimes it can be taken for granted and that saddens me because it is something I find to be such an amazing blessing. I cannot wait to have a home where the priesthood is involved, where protection is there, I know that it is something to be valued. Right now I may not know much about where my life is headed or where my heart will end up, but I do know that if I am lucky, I will have the priesthood in my future home.



XOXO- Lexi Collins

Differently.

Early this morning I was reading through my good friend Audrey's blog and got to thinking how very lucky I am to have support in more than one way on my journey in this gospel. There have been so many who have acknowledged how much I've changed and supported it, even when they don't believe themselves. It means more to me than I can express in a simple blog post. Because there are also a lot of people, including close family member who do not support it. I've lost multiple friends, I've lost options of people I could date, I've lost an entire lifestyle and chose to gain much more than that. It is often hard at times to continue, grow and not give up. Especially when I feel unsupported, but this is when I turn to the little things, the people who do support me and hold onto their insight like a rod. They may not even realize it but without some of their support and non-judgement I wouldn't be at this place in my journey at all. I couldn't say Thank You enough.

I was on pinterest the other day and found this photo. 

It's the complete truth and means a lot to me because in order to change, I had to treat my life differently. I had to think different, dress different, involve myself in different hobbies, etc. I had to start living differently if I wanted something to last forever. I wanted this gospel in my life from then on out so I had to do something to achieve that. I want to have an eternal family and companion, I want a temple marriage, I want eternity. And because all of these things are so special they need to be treated differently. If you choose not to treat them differently there is a high chance that it won't last forever. 

People have treated me differently in both good and bad ways. Just as everyone else has been treated at some point in their life. Are you living differently? How are you treating others? Do you realize the impact it can have on them? Do you want something to last forever? Think about it. 

XOXO-:LC

Tips & tricks to help you grow.

Lately I’ve had a lot of people ask me how I do it, how I changed and how I stay strong enough to endure the changes. The answer to all these questions is simple, faith in his plan.

I thought I’d share a couple of tips/tricks that I do to help me endure.

1.       Make Goals!

This is probably the #1 thing that keeps me on the straight and narrow. I’m a huge goal-oriented person. Being determined to accomplish all my goals doesn’t hurt either;) Making goals, regardless of if they’re big or small helps me to focus on something other than everything I’m not supposed to be doing or everything I have changed in my life. I have daily, weekly and long term goals. It allows me to refocus and improve.

                They can be simple or complex. Some examples of mine are as simple as doing my best not to swear throughout the day or as complex as preparing to go through the temple. There are some in betweens to like finishing the Book of Mormon, attending church and praying.

2.       Strive To Be Christlike.

In today’s world it is sometimes SUPER hard to be christlike all the time. This is okay because nobody is perfect, but if we all strive just a little bit each day or each week to be christlike think of how much improvement we might make in our daily lives!! This tip came into effect in my life when I was debating going on a mission I began reading Preach My Gospel and instead of going in order I skipped straight to the chapter about obtaining christlike attributes. I now chose to try my best each day to become more christlike than the day before, sometimes it is a struggle, but pushing past insecurities and trials is always worth it! Whenever I am having a hard time with this tip I go back and read a part of the chapter in Preach My Gospel for a little refresher.

3.       Don’t Forget To Pray.

I know it may be cliché but really truly personal prayer never fails to help me grow! I do my best to pray each day and night, this helps me to stay strong. I can say that I know without a doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father listens to our prayers and if we are praying sincerely they WILL be answered. Even if they aren’t answered in the time frame we were hoping for he is well aware of what our heart desires and wants nothing more than to grant us with those desires. Personally I pray for help to have faith in his plan and timing and it has helped me grow meek daily.

All three of these tips help me to grow, endure and most important of all have faith in his plan. As I go throughout the day keeping these three things in mind it helps remind me that Heavenly Father has a hand in ALL things and by having faith in him we will be guided to where we are supposed to be in life.

Try them out and let me know how they’ve helped you to grow!

XOXO-Lexi

Latter Day Sister Missionary

I had the opportunity to work with an amazing company Latter Day Sister Missionary. They specialize in reversible skirts! I was able to wear the Emma in a shoot and it is so cute! These skirts are perfect for any future missionaries or anyone looking for a modest skirt! (Make that two modest skirts!)

Speaking of modest skirts, I may be needing some of my own soon. 

I have been thinking about getting my endowments. It is a HUGE step for me and I haven't completely decided yet, but it's something that has on my mind. 

Check out some photo's of my shoot with Latter Day Sister Missionary below!

Check out the Latter Day Sister Missionary facebook page and blog!!!!

It's all hard. Every moment of it.

Oh my goodness where to even begin! I have so many experiences that I can write about. But I think I'll just stick to one for tonight. There is something that has been on my mind lately and it's almost hard for me to put into words. 

It has to do with hardships. I cannot even begin to explain how hard, not to mention how heartbreaking it is to me when others expect me to live up to certain standards, when they themselves cannot live up to the standards expected of me. I am human. I have a past. I have things I am working on daily. 

I feel like you shouldn't expect someone to live up to something or tell them they need to change or improve in a certain area if you are doing the exact opposite of the advice being given.

Although I am aware and do know that everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. Nobody is perfect. It becomes a hardship when you take the advice and do your best to make improvements only to watch that person walk in the complete opposite direction. It's hard not to become angry and judgmental. In a way I feel by even writing this I am being judgmental. But I needed to vent somewhere. I think it becomes heartbreaking to me when I'm giving it my all for the people I care deeply about only to receive nothing in return. Saying this makes me feel selfish but it also saddens me because I want others to reach their potential that I know they so deeply crave. It's all hard. Every moment of it. But I know any effort on anybodies end to become better or at least try, never goes unnoticed. 

I decided instead of focusing on others efforts I would take the time to reflect on my own. And in doing so I was able to feel peace about it. I felt the prompting to not only pray for my own improvements but others' as well. And so I did. I think when you truly care about somebody it's hard not to take their opinion into account, especially when there are multiple people giving opinions. I also think that we need to realize how our opinions can affect others. 

All I know is that I can try and I can encourage others to do the same. 

XOXO-LC

Feeling at 'Home'.

Hey guys! I know I haven't posted awhile and a lot of you have been wondering what's been going on, so I'll update you! I've been working two jobs, one part time and one full time. I had to take the state test in order to "re-certify" for my CNA License. I also have been applying for nursing schools, so far I've applied for two! I've been visiting teaching, and last but not least I received a calling in relief society I am now a part of the fellowship committee and I could not be more grateful! That's a story I'll have to tell later, tonight I wanted to write about something a little different. 

I guess I'll start by saying I've been feeling a little alone in the world lately. I'm not sure if it's because I've been so busy working and am not in classes this semester like everyone else, or the fact that I haven't really heard from some of my friends lately because life gets in the way. Most likely it's a combination of both. I found myself driving home from Provo last nigh just upset because once again I was over thinking and I ended up turning to Heavenly Father. Having a full on conversation with him while driving, thinking 'I just want to go home, I can't wait to be home with the person who's constantly there, even if I'm upset about the same problem, over and over again.' Being able to have a conversation with Heavenly Father at any moment is SUCH a blessing. I encourage you all to take complete advantage of it, even if it's a simple prayer, you will feel comforted. How lucky are we to have the blessing of prayer? How lucky are we to have a best friend no matter what situation we may be in? I am humbled every time I pray because I am made aware of this time and time again! It's amazing if you allow it to be. 

Back to my feeling of wanting to 'go home', I realized that this feeling and thought has always been in my life. When I was younger I used to think it all the time and it carried on through adolescence and now adulthood. I have always wanted to go home, but never really knew where my home was, or where I truly wanted to go. 

It finally dawned on me that home is where my Heavenly Father is, it's a craving to feel the spirit, to feel loved and at peace. This earth is not my home, Heaven is.

The day I decided to acknowledge the spirit is a day that I will forever be grateful for. In so many situations the gospel was OBVIOUSLY waiting to be recognized by me. I kick my self for not acknowledging it sooner in my life but in the same sense I know that it happened when it was supposed to. That feeling of wanting to go home was there and is there for a reason. And now I can do my best to make this earth my home, until I get to go to my real home. I found a MP3 post by Al Fox about this today and thought I should share her version and elaborate on mine. Her take can be found here. 

I know I can make Heaven on earth in many ways such as, temple attendance, praying often, attending church and institute classes, learning as much as I can about this gospel and more. What ways do you make Heaven on this earth? Reply here or message me on my facebook here.

Thanks for reading!:)

-LC

Continuing.

Yesterday was a crazy day for me for a couple of different reasons. I had a full day of modeling ahead of me and my body was just not wanting to agree. I woke up with a terrible migraine and was completely groggy, immediately I could tell that my thyroid levels are yet again "off." It's been something I've been struggling with for a little over a year now. Meds don't work how they should and my weight gain hasn't exactly gone how I've hoped it to. Feeling like there was a huge weight holding me in bed, I did not want to get up, I did my best to put on a happy face and stick to the prior commitment I had made to represent Axe.

Sometimes I get stuck in these moments of "eh" where I am not feeling the best and I start over analyzing everything that is going wrong in my life. Everyone around me is married/in serious relationships, here I am stuck, not gaining weight, feeling exhausted, not doing the best in school, friends have come and gone, etc. When certain thoughts are running through my head it can get overwhelming. But in these moments I remember that everything in my life and every single trial that I am experiencing right now is happening for a reason. I have to remind myself that it could ALWAYS be worse. I've realized that it's okay to breakdown. I find myself, more often than not, praying with all that I've got. It's humbling to me to know that no matter where I'm at in life my Heavenly Father knows what I am feeling and what I am going through. Even if I find myself praying about the same thing over and over again, I am always comforted. Learning to rely on the lord and continue in my struggles has been extremely hard, but very worth it.

Saying a simple prayer helped me to get through yesterday and actually take the moments in and enjoy them. I was able to tough it out and model for Axe and then go straight to hair and makeup for a photoshoot that I had been looking forward to. Not going to lie, waking up I didn't want to do anything, even the things I was looking forward to. But continuing on showed me that even my hard days can turn out amazing. I had so much fun at my photoshoot and was all smiles, regardless of how tired I was. So think about continuing on even when things are tough. Push past the doubt you may have, push past the struggle, push past the fear and the hurt you may be feeling. Pray about it. Rely on the lord. Keep going. Don't give up. These are things I remind myself daily. And you should to.


Short, sweet and to the point.

My Story.

Something huge for me happened today and it has inspired me to share my story. I recently became more active in the church of latter-day saints and I am asked on a daily basis, "why now?" "What changed?" "How did you do it?" So I decided that I want to share a condensed version of my story.

I was raised LDS but we were never active. I was baptized but my mom and I never went to church. Naturally I fell away from the church and wasn't making the best decisions. And for whatever reason I just decided one day that I wanted to be around better influences and start going back to church. I moved away and wasn't making all the same bad decisions but I still hadn't gone to church, I wasn't sure how to even find out about it. Finally when I moved back home, my bishop of my singles ward kept "stopping" by, of course every time he did I wasn't home. Luckily one time I was home! It happened to be a Saturday morning and I just so happened to be wearing a tank top and shorts (that I had slept in) and I was beyond embarrassed to be meeting my bishop being dressed the way I was. My bishop was so very nice which made me eager to go, he told me when and where my ward met and said he couldn't wait to see me. Then I realized I had a dilemma  I was too afraid to go to church alone. I didn't know anyone and I don't even know all that much about the church. Eventually a couple weeks later I built up the courage to go. I went and it was so scary, but also so very worth the anxiety. I made an appointment with my bishop, which was nerve-wracking because I knew I needed to repent. Surprisingly, I was comfortable about it and by January I received my temple recommend and even got the opportunity to receive my patriarchal blessing.  I've been going to church every single week since and I cannot put into words how amazing it has been. Although there have still been times of struggle, I have changed for the better and I could not be more grateful.
SOME THINGS I HAVE CHANGED SINCE NOV 2012:
I don't drink or even go to parties.
I have no desire to do anything unacceptable with boys.
I don't even listen to certain types of music.
I stopped drinking coffee and tea.
I do my best not to swear.
I now don't even buy clothes unless I could wear them after going through the temple. <--- by far the hardest thing yet.

Not that I have am getting married anytime soon or going on a mission, I just figured why not make it easier on myself when the time comes. It's something I am still working on (starting since Nov 2012) and not really something I even need to do at this point in my life. But I chose to. Because frankly for me if I am going to be active I am going to live it.

I'm sure you're all wondering what the big thing is that happened to me today. I BORE MY TESTIMONY IN CHURCH!! I have never ever done this in my life. I absolutely hate talking in front of people (usually I cry regardless of where I'm speaking) I am still shocked and so proud of myself for doing this. I never thought that I would ever have the courage to do this. I mean, I have told people my story, but I've never gotten up in front of people and it felt absolutely amazing. I've always pictured it in my head but I never actually had the courage to do it. Today that changed, all thanks to somebody else's testimony. He hadn't been to church in four years, or stayed for all the sessions and the spirit was so strong for him that he got up in front of everyone and bore his testimony. It was so incredible and I have to thank him for giving me the courage and inspiration to do such a thing. I figured if he can do it, so can I. Afterwards there was a mingle and over 20 people came up to me telling me that my testimony, my words, had an impact on them. I didn't even know that was possible. Thinking about it makes me grin ear to ear like a goofball. People I have never even met or talked to had been influenced by me. This is so amazing. Especially because I become shy at church, anywhere else I'm as outgoing and could go up to anybody. I am so thankful for this gospel and the fact that my heavenly father will be there for me no matter how many mistakes I've made in the past. I know that it does not matter where I have been, it only matter where I am now and where I intend on going. If any of you would like to hear more about my journey and why I have decided to come back to the church PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am more than willing to share. And I'd love to hear your stories to. I found a video by Al Fox that actually fit perfectly and thought I should share!!

XOXO-Lexi Collins

Big Changes.

So many thoughts are weighing on my mind. It feels like lately I've been unable to catch a break with anything. I feel as though my struggles have been branching from not being able to keep my mind off of certain things. I dwell on words that were said, things that have been done, things that need to be done, and hang on to hope with every ounce of my body.

Sometimes I think, "It'd be so easy to lower my standards, settle, or go back to the ways of my past." My mind and my heart almost never get along. I can be thinking those things and automatically my heart screams, "No, don't let these things get you down, stand up for what you believe in, hold onto hope and it will be worth it." I am so thankful for the heart that I was blessed with. Although it gets me into trouble sometimes when it comes to the ones I care and fall for. I've learned to accept my flaw of over analyzing and thinking about everything because, it isn't in fact a flaw at all. Obviously if someone or something is on my mind and in my heart, it's supposed to be there. Regardless of if it's pain or happiness, it will make me stronger than I've already grown to be.

Today was General Conference and it was absolutely amazing. I am so blessed to be a part of this church. I was talking to my best friend Lily last night and the topic of church came up. She said "Lex, if I were to tell you 3 years ago that you'd be getting up and going to conference tomorrow, you would've said I was crazy." And she is completely right, I never would have thought that I would become active in the church again, but I have and it has changed my life so much. In such a good way! I decided I wanted the gospel in my life and I want an eternal family and so I went after it. I attend church every Sunday, along with ward temple goings and the occasional FHE. It's been such a smooth transition as well, it was beyond easy for me to give up going to parties, watching rated R movies and listening to certain types of music, attending church is something I look forward to, and investing time into my scriptures is something I enjoy. It hasn't all been easy though, I made the decision around November that I was going to slowly start getting rid of every article of clothing in my closet that I cannot make modest or wear with garments. This was so tough at first because I love clothes and I have never worn any kind of shorts besides short-shorts in my life. Now months later it has become easier and easier to dress modest. I don't even buy anything unless it's something that I can wear garments with. Becoming more active has been the most amazing journey of my life. I strive to make myself better ever single day and it has been the biggest blessing that I wouldn't change for the world. Things may be rocky in other aspects of my life but this is the one thing that I know I can always count on and that brings peace into my mind :)

Untrue things hurt the worst, but power through it, for it'll make you strong.

"Untrue things hurt the worst, but power through it, for it'll make you stronger."

I titled today's post because lately I feel as though a lot of people around me have suddenly become very judgmental.  Certain thoughts were brought to my attention and I was honestly SHOCKED, I still am. Apparently I have been called selfish towards people, full of myself and scandalous. I know that everybody is going to be judged at some point in their lives but I cannot even think of one way that I have ever been selfish or scandalous, as far as full of myself, I do model, but I do not model for myself or to take pretty pictures, I model in hopes that I will inspire someone to follow and accomplish their dreams. When I care for someone I would do absolutely anything for them. Plain and simple, I go out of my way daily to do something for someone other than myself and yet I am selfish? Scandalous, when I've kissed less people than I can count on my own two hands?
Normally such accusations would never phase me or my confidence, but they came from two people that I care about more than my own self. That is the only reason why I would sit and question myself, "Am I selfish?, Am I full of myself, Am I scandalous? Why do they think that about me? If someone I care for so much thinks that, what do others think?" Tears fall down my cheeks as I am writing this,  I have considered all situations and know that I am not selfish and I am far from scandalous and full of myself. Honestly it is hard for me to open up about this, but it's been weighing on my mind every second since I heard it. And it's killing me. I know that I am stronger than that, and I shouldn't let something so little affect me so much, but it has. Mainly I think it has affected me so much because of the people it came from. Not just anyone, but people who I have loved and been there for on more than one occasion for a very long time. People who I hold near and dear to my heart. I thought to myself, there's no WAY they think that about me after everything we've been through and how well we knew each other, but I thought wrong. It saddens my heart more than ever that they have this picture of me in their heads. And I would do anything to change it. But I cannot change how they think of me, I can only hold my head tall and keep being me, proving them wrong each day. This is the exact reason why I choose not to judge others, because you never know how it can hurt somebody and you may not know how untrue that judgmental comment is. I strive to be a better person each day, even if it's in the littlest ways, like holding open the door or making it my goal to make someone laugh. I know that we are not put on this earth to live easy lives and we are going to be put through trials. At first for some reason I was afraid to pray about this because I knew if I did I'd be bawling the whole time, I managed to get through a prayer or two and it has helped me to realize that I can be strong and become a better person by focusing on not so much what these two think of me but what I, as well as those who truly know me think.
I wrote about this to let everyone know that people will always judge and try to hurt you while they are hurting themselves, but don't let it get under your skin because only YOU KNOW YOURSELF. I said a prayer for those who said certain things about me and asked that their minds realize that words can hurt and asked that they won't take their own pain out on others, if that was the case. They are now aware I know what has been said, I hope with all my heart that they realize no matter what they have said about me I still care for them and will be there regardless, because that's the person I am. If anyone reading this has felt judged and is struggling, I am here for you. Even if we've never talked before you can confide in me, because like you I have felt judged and I know you're strong, even if you don't<3

Other than that, 
I know it's been awhile since I wrote last! I've been so busy between school and helping out around the house (we're remodeling)! Fun I know. School has been crazy busy since I will be going to Mexico in about a week and I am trying to get ahead in each class. It' s going pretty well so far and I'm getting super excited for my trip!


-Miss LC

Just Simply Amazing!

So I  have a crazy experience that I need to write down! "We got a lot to learn, god knows we're worth it." This song made me think of what I experienced. On Saturday I went to Summer Jams with some friends and met some awesome people. Mainly it was me, my friend Ceciley & two guys. We went to a party where there was alcohol and because Ceciley and I do not drink the boys decided to not drink as well. The boy I was hanging out with had been drinking earlier and when he noticed I wasn't drinking he decided to stop. I told him I didn't mind and he could if he wanted to because it didn't offend me and he still decided to not drink. This was super impressive to me. It made me have a lot of respect for both of the guys. We went to a park after and Ceciley was off talking to her guy and I was talking to the one I was with. We talked about so much. Mainly about how he wanted to stop drinking and asked how I did it. He asked if I did it because I was LDS and I let him know that I did it for my own personal reasons and the church only helped support in my decision. I told him how I have come back to the church and how my life has been so blessed since. He asked about the church and I did my best to explain. He said "But I've done some things that aren't the best." I told him that with being LDS you can be forgiven for all of that, and repent, our heavenly father loves everyone and nobody is perfect. I then explained how I have made mistakes and have some things that I need to repent for. I let him know that I am still learning myself. He said it's scary to him. And I could not relate more. I have started all over, staying away from friends who do not have the same beliefs. It hasn't been the easiest. And I understand. Going to church is intimidating. I feel like I should know a lot more than I do. I told him that. Having a best friend like Ceciley has helped me SO much. She is honestly one of the most inspiring people. She has made me want to be a better person, honestly I can say she is the most amazing person I have ever met. I usually don't go around telling people about my religion but this was different. I felt like I just knew what to say, I was comfortable talking with him. And that NEVER happens. I feel like even if everything I was saying wasn't perfect, it felt that way. It felt amazing to bare my testimony in a sense, I've never really done that before. It felt so good. The boys decided to go to church with Cec and I the next day. In Sunday school we were talking about the book of Alma and how he was not perfect and was able to come to the church. I swear that every single thing I had mentioned the night before somehow came up in church. The spirit was so unbelievably strong. I'm not sure if he noticed what I had mentioned was mentioned in church but I definitely did. And I can say it was one of the most amazing experiences that I have had. After church we went to the boys' house, changed into sweats and made cookies. As we were leaving the house I heard "So we'll see you at church next Sunday" it came from the boys and Ceciley and I were shocked. It was awesome. I'm not sure how this gospel works but I do know that it is inspirational and amazing and so many other things. I love going to church and learning. I love letting others know how I feel about the church. And I love experiences like these. I have them everyday more and more and I am so thankful. Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways! I'm just lucky to be able to recognize some of the ways in which he works. It's simply just amazing!

This picture is honestly amazing<3 Ties it all together. Every person sins differently. Some sin a little, others sin a lot. It does not matter. The Savior does not judge us by where we have been, he only judges us by where we are going.

Miss LC Get To Know Me.

Hello Bloggers:) 

So I love writing and decided on a whim that I was going to start a blog! My name is Lexi but most call me LC! Some random facts about myself:

• I love bright colors...Coral is my absolute favorite though.
• I am proudly LDS :)
• I absolutely love to travel.
• I am super spontaneous!
• I'm single...for now. 
• My major is nursing.
• A passion of mine has to do with modeling. 
• Addicted to Nordstroms & Victoras Secret, I know bad addictions
• Favorite food: Italian. 

Have any other questions feel free to ask!:) I hope that you enjoy reading future blogs of mine!