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Sunday, July 21, 2013


Yesterday was a crazy day for me for a couple of different reasons. I had a full day of modeling ahead of me and my body was just not wanting to agree. I woke up with a terrible migraine and was completely groggy, immediately I could tell that my thyroid levels are yet again "off." It's been something I've been struggling with for a little over a year now. Meds don't work how they should and my weight gain hasn't exactly gone how I've hoped it to. Feeling like there was a huge weight holding me in bed, I did not want to get up, I did my best to put on a happy face and stick to the prior commitment I had made to represent Axe.

Sometimes I get stuck in these moments of "eh" where I am not feeling the best and I start over analyzing everything that is going wrong in my life. Everyone around me is married/in serious relationships, here I am stuck, not gaining weight, feeling exhausted, not doing the best in school, friends have come and gone, etc. When certain thoughts are running through my head it can get overwhelming. But in these moments I remember that everything in my life and every single trial that I am experiencing right now is happening for a reason. I have to remind myself that it could ALWAYS be worse. I've realized that it's okay to breakdown. I find myself, more often than not, praying with all that I've got. It's humbling to me to know that no matter where I'm at in life my Heavenly Father knows what I am feeling and what I am going through. Even if I find myself praying about the same thing over and over again, I am always comforted. Learning to rely on the lord and continue in my struggles has been extremely hard, but very worth it.

Saying a simple prayer helped me to get through yesterday and actually take the moments in and enjoy them. I was able to tough it out and model for Axe and then go straight to hair and makeup for a photoshoot that I had been looking forward to. Not going to lie, waking up I didn't want to do anything, even the things I was looking forward to. But continuing on showed me that even my hard days can turn out amazing. I had so much fun at my photoshoot and was all smiles, regardless of how tired I was. So think about continuing on even when things are tough. Push past the doubt you may have, push past the struggle, push past the fear and the hurt you may be feeling. Pray about it. Rely on the lord. Keep going. Don't give up. These are things I remind myself daily. And you should to.

Short, sweet and to the point.