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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Untrue things hurt the worst, but power through it, for it'll make you strong.

"Untrue things hurt the worst, but power through it, for it'll make you stronger."

I titled today's post because lately I feel as though a lot of people around me have suddenly become very judgmental.  Certain thoughts were brought to my attention and I was honestly SHOCKED, I still am. Apparently I have been called selfish towards people, full of myself and scandalous. I know that everybody is going to be judged at some point in their lives but I cannot even think of one way that I have ever been selfish or scandalous, as far as full of myself, I do model, but I do not model for myself or to take pretty pictures, I model in hopes that I will inspire someone to follow and accomplish their dreams. When I care for someone I would do absolutely anything for them. Plain and simple, I go out of my way daily to do something for someone other than myself and yet I am selfish? Scandalous, when I've kissed less people than I can count on my own two hands?
Normally such accusations would never phase me or my confidence, but they came from two people that I care about more than my own self. That is the only reason why I would sit and question myself, "Am I selfish?, Am I full of myself, Am I scandalous? Why do they think that about me? If someone I care for so much thinks that, what do others think?" Tears fall down my cheeks as I am writing this,  I have considered all situations and know that I am not selfish and I am far from scandalous and full of myself. Honestly it is hard for me to open up about this, but it's been weighing on my mind every second since I heard it. And it's killing me. I know that I am stronger than that, and I shouldn't let something so little affect me so much, but it has. Mainly I think it has affected me so much because of the people it came from. Not just anyone, but people who I have loved and been there for on more than one occasion for a very long time. People who I hold near and dear to my heart. I thought to myself, there's no WAY they think that about me after everything we've been through and how well we knew each other, but I thought wrong. It saddens my heart more than ever that they have this picture of me in their heads. And I would do anything to change it. But I cannot change how they think of me, I can only hold my head tall and keep being me, proving them wrong each day. This is the exact reason why I choose not to judge others, because you never know how it can hurt somebody and you may not know how untrue that judgmental comment is. I strive to be a better person each day, even if it's in the littlest ways, like holding open the door or making it my goal to make someone laugh. I know that we are not put on this earth to live easy lives and we are going to be put through trials. At first for some reason I was afraid to pray about this because I knew if I did I'd be bawling the whole time, I managed to get through a prayer or two and it has helped me to realize that I can be strong and become a better person by focusing on not so much what these two think of me but what I, as well as those who truly know me think.
I wrote about this to let everyone know that people will always judge and try to hurt you while they are hurting themselves, but don't let it get under your skin because only YOU KNOW YOURSELF. I said a prayer for those who said certain things about me and asked that their minds realize that words can hurt and asked that they won't take their own pain out on others, if that was the case. They are now aware I know what has been said, I hope with all my heart that they realize no matter what they have said about me I still care for them and will be there regardless, because that's the person I am. If anyone reading this has felt judged and is struggling, I am here for you. Even if we've never talked before you can confide in me, because like you I have felt judged and I know you're strong, even if you don't<3

Other than that, 
I know it's been awhile since I wrote last! I've been so busy between school and helping out around the house (we're remodeling)! Fun I know. School has been crazy busy since I will be going to Mexico in about a week and I am trying to get ahead in each class. It' s going pretty well so far and I'm getting super excited for my trip!

-Miss LC

Monday, July 30, 2012

Just Simply Amazing!

So I  have a crazy experience that I need to write down! "We got a lot to learn, god knows we're worth it." This song made me think of what I experienced. On Saturday I went to Summer Jams with some friends and met some awesome people. Mainly it was me, my friend Ceciley & two guys. We went to a party where there was alcohol and because Ceciley and I do not drink the boys decided to not drink as well. The boy I was hanging out with had been drinking earlier and when he noticed I wasn't drinking he decided to stop. I told him I didn't mind and he could if he wanted to because it didn't offend me and he still decided to not drink. This was super impressive to me. It made me have a lot of respect for both of the guys. We went to a park after and Ceciley was off talking to her guy and I was talking to the one I was with. We talked about so much. Mainly about how he wanted to stop drinking and asked how I did it. He asked if I did it because I was LDS and I let him know that I did it for my own personal reasons and the church only helped support in my decision. I told him how I have come back to the church and how my life has been so blessed since. He asked about the church and I did my best to explain. He said "But I've done some things that aren't the best." I told him that with being LDS you can be forgiven for all of that, and repent, our heavenly father loves everyone and nobody is perfect. I then explained how I have made mistakes and have some things that I need to repent for. I let him know that I am still learning myself. He said it's scary to him. And I could not relate more. I have started all over, staying away from friends who do not have the same beliefs. It hasn't been the easiest. And I understand. Going to church is intimidating. I feel like I should know a lot more than I do. I told him that. Having a best friend like Ceciley has helped me SO much. She is honestly one of the most inspiring people. She has made me want to be a better person, honestly I can say she is the most amazing person I have ever met. I usually don't go around telling people about my religion but this was different. I felt like I just knew what to say, I was comfortable talking with him. And that NEVER happens. I feel like even if everything I was saying wasn't perfect, it felt that way. It felt amazing to bare my testimony in a sense, I've never really done that before. It felt so good. The boys decided to go to church with Cec and I the next day. In Sunday school we were talking about the book of Alma and how he was not perfect and was able to come to the church. I swear that every single thing I had mentioned the night before somehow came up in church. The spirit was so unbelievably strong. I'm not sure if he noticed what I had mentioned was mentioned in church but I definitely did. And I can say it was one of the most amazing experiences that I have had. After church we went to the boys' house, changed into sweats and made cookies. As we were leaving the house I heard "So we'll see you at church next Sunday" it came from the boys and Ceciley and I were shocked. It was awesome. I'm not sure how this gospel works but I do know that it is inspirational and amazing and so many other things. I love going to church and learning. I love letting others know how I feel about the church. And I love experiences like these. I have them everyday more and more and I am so thankful. Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways! I'm just lucky to be able to recognize some of the ways in which he works. It's simply just amazing!

This picture is honestly amazing<3 Ties it all together. Every person sins differently. Some sin a little, others sin a lot. It does not matter. The Savior does not judge us by where we have been, he only judges us by where we are going.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Miss LC Get To Know Me.

Hello Bloggers:) 
So I love writing and decided on a whim that I was going to start a blog! My name is Lexi but most call me LC! Some random facts about myself:

  • I love bright colors...Coral is my absolute favorite though.
  • I am proudly LDS :)
  • I absolutely love to travel.
  • I am super spontaneous!
  • I'm single...for now. 
  • My major is nursing.
  • A passion of mine has to do with modeling. 
  • Addicted to Nordstroms & Victoras Secret, I know bad addictions
  • Favorite food: Italian. 
Have any other questions feel free to ask!:) I hope that you enjoy reading future blogs of mine!