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Sunday, November 24, 2013


Early this morning I was reading through my good friend Audrey's blog and got to thinking how very lucky I am to have support in more than one way on my journey in this gospel. There have been so many who have acknowledged how much I've changed and supported it, even when they don't believe themselves. It means more to me than I can express in a simple blog post. Because there are also a lot of people, including close family member who do not support it. I've lost multiple friends, I've lost options of people I could date, I've lost an entire lifestyle and chose to gain much more than that. It is often hard at times to continue, grow and not give up. Especially when I feel unsupported, but this is when I turn to the little things, the people who do support me and hold onto their insight like a rod. They may not even realize it but without some of their support and non-judgement I wouldn't be at this place in my journey at all. I couldn't say Thank You enough.

I was on pinterest the other day and found this photo. 

It's the complete truth and means a lot to me because in order to change, I had to treat my life differently. I had to think different, dress different, involve myself in different hobbies, etc. I had to start living differently if I wanted something to last forever. I wanted this gospel in my life from then on out so I had to do something to achieve that. I want to have an eternal family and companion, I want a temple marriage, I want eternity. And because all of these things are so special they need to be treated differently. If you choose not to treat them differently there is a high chance that it won't last forever. 

People have treated me differently in both good and bad ways. Just as everyone else has been treated at some point in their life. Are you living differently? How are you treating others? Do you realize the impact it can have on them? Do you want something to last forever? Think about it. 


Friday, November 15, 2013

Tips & tricks to help you grow.

Lately I’ve had a lot of people ask me how I do it, how I changed and how I stay strong enough to endure the changes. The answer to all these questions is simple, faith in his plan.
I thought I’d share a couple of tips/tricks that I do to help me endure.
1.       Make Goals!
This is probably the #1 thing that keeps me on the straight and narrow. I’m a huge goal-oriented person. Being determined to accomplish all my goals doesn’t hurt either;) Making goals, regardless of if they’re big or small helps me to focus on something other than everything I’m not supposed to be doing or everything I have changed in my life. I have daily, weekly and long term goals. It allows me to refocus and improve.
                They can be simple or complex. Some examples of mine are as simple as doing my best not to swear throughout the day or as complex as preparing to go through the temple. There are some in betweens to like finishing the Book of Mormon, attending church and praying.

2.       Strive To Be Christlike.
In today’s world it is sometimes SUPER hard to be christlike all the time. This is okay because nobody is perfect, but if we all strive just a little bit each day or each week to be christlike think of how much improvement we might make in our daily lives!! This tip came into effect in my life when I was debating going on a mission I began reading Preach My Gospel and instead of going in order I skipped straight to the chapter about obtaining christlike attributes. I now chose to try my best each day to become more christlike than the day before, sometimes it is a struggle, but pushing past insecurities and trials is always worth it! Whenever I am having a hard time with this tip I go back and read a part of the chapter in Preach My Gospel for a little refresher.

3.       Don’t Forget To Pray.
I know it may be cliché but really truly personal prayer never fails to help me grow! I do my best to pray each day and night, this helps me to stay strong. I can say that I know without a doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father listens to our prayers and if we are praying sincerely they WILL be answered. Even if they aren’t answered in the time frame we were hoping for he is well aware of what our heart desires and wants nothing more than to grant us with those desires. Personally I pray for help to have faith in his plan and timing and it has helped me grow meek daily.

All three of these tips help me to grow, endure and most important of all have faith in his plan. As I go throughout the day keeping these three things in mind it helps remind me that Heavenly Father has a hand in ALL things and by having faith in him we will be guided to where we are supposed to be in life.

Try them out and let me know how they’ve helped you to grow!


Thursday, October 24, 2013

Latter Day Sister Missionary

I had the opportunity to work with an amazing company Latter Day Sister Missionary. They specialize in reversible skirts! I was able to wear the Emma in a shoot and it is so cute! These skirts are perfect for any future missionaries or anyone looking for a modest skirt! (Make that two modest skirts!)

Speaking of modest skirts, I may be needing some of my own soon. 
I have been thinking about getting my endowments. It is a HUGE step for me and I haven't completely decided yet, but it's something that has on my mind. 

Check out some photo's of my shoot with Latter Day Sister Missionary below!

Check out the Latter Day Sister Missionary facebook page and blog!!!!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

It's all hard. Every moment of it.

Oh my goodness where to even begin! I have so many experiences that I can write about. But I think I'll just stick to one for tonight. There is something that has been on my mind lately and it's almost hard for me to put into words. 

It has to do with hardships. I cannot even begin to explain how hard, not to mention how heartbreaking it is to me when others expect me to live up to certain standards, when they themselves cannot live up to the standards expected of me. I am human. I have a past. I have things I am working on daily. 

I feel like you shouldn't expect someone to live up to something or tell them they need to change or improve in a certain area if you are doing the exact opposite of the advice being given.

Although I am aware and do know that everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. Nobody is perfect. It becomes a hardship when you take the advice and do your best to make improvements only to watch that person walk in the complete opposite direction. It's hard not to become angry and judgmental. In a way I feel by even writing this I am being judgmental. But I needed to vent somewhere. I think it becomes heartbreaking to me when I'm giving it my all for the people I care deeply about only to receive nothing in return. Saying this makes me feel selfish but it also saddens me because I want others to reach their potential that I know they so deeply crave. It's all hard. Every moment of it. But I know any effort on anybodies end to become better or at least try, never goes unnoticed. 

I decided instead of focusing on others efforts I would take the time to reflect on my own. And in doing so I was able to feel peace about it. I felt the prompting to not only pray for my own improvements but others' as well. And so I did. I think when you truly care about somebody it's hard not to take their opinion into account, especially when there are multiple people giving opinions. I also think that we need to realize how our opinions can affect others. 

All I know is that I can try and I can encourage others to do the same. 


Sunday, September 15, 2013

Feeling at 'Home'.

Hey guys! I know I haven't posted awhile and a lot of you have been wondering what's been going on, so I'll update you! I've been working two jobs, one part time and one full time. I had to take the state test in order to "re-certify" for my CNA License. I also have been applying for nursing schools, so far I've applied for two! I've been visiting teaching, and last but not least I received a calling in relief society I am now a part of the fellowship committee and I could not be more grateful! That's a story I'll have to tell later, tonight I wanted to write about something a little different. 

I guess I'll start by saying I've been feeling a little alone in the world lately. I'm not sure if it's because I've been so busy working and am not in classes this semester like everyone else, or the fact that I haven't really heard from some of my friends lately because life gets in the way. Most likely it's a combination of both. I found myself driving home from Provo last nigh just upset because once again I was over thinking and I ended up turning to Heavenly Father. Having a full on conversation with him while driving, thinking 'I just want to go home, I can't wait to be home with the person who's constantly there, even if I'm upset about the same problem, over and over again.' Being able to have a conversation with Heavenly Father at any moment is SUCH a blessing. I encourage you all to take complete advantage of it, even if it's a simple prayer, you will feel comforted. How lucky are we to have the blessing of prayer? How lucky are we to have a best friend no matter what situation we may be in? I am humbled every time I pray because I am made aware of this time and time again! It's amazing if you allow it to be. 

Back to my feeling of wanting to 'go home', I realized that this feeling and thought has always been in my life. When I was younger I used to think it all the time and it carried on through adolescence and now adulthood. I have always wanted to go home, but never really knew where my home was, or where I truly wanted to go. 

It finally dawned on me that home is where my Heavenly Father is, it's a craving to feel the spirit, to feel loved and at peace. This earth is not my home, Heaven is.

The day I decided to acknowledge the spirit is a day that I will forever be grateful for. In so many situations the gospel was OBVIOUSLY waiting to be recognized by me. I kick my self for not acknowledging it sooner in my life but in the same sense I know that it happened when it was supposed to. That feeling of wanting to go home was there and is there for a reason. And now I can do my best to make this earth my home, until I get to go to my real home. I found a MP3 post by Al Fox about this today and thought I should share her version and elaborate on mine. Her take can be found here. 

I know I can make Heaven on earth in many ways such as, temple attendance, praying often, attending church and institute classes, learning as much as I can about this gospel and more. What ways do you make Heaven on this earth? Reply here or message me on my facebook here.

Thanks for reading!:)


Sunday, July 21, 2013


Yesterday was a crazy day for me for a couple of different reasons. I had a full day of modeling ahead of me and my body was just not wanting to agree. I woke up with a terrible migraine and was completely groggy, immediately I could tell that my thyroid levels are yet again "off." It's been something I've been struggling with for a little over a year now. Meds don't work how they should and my weight gain hasn't exactly gone how I've hoped it to. Feeling like there was a huge weight holding me in bed, I did not want to get up, I did my best to put on a happy face and stick to the prior commitment I had made to represent Axe.

Sometimes I get stuck in these moments of "eh" where I am not feeling the best and I start over analyzing everything that is going wrong in my life. Everyone around me is married/in serious relationships, here I am stuck, not gaining weight, feeling exhausted, not doing the best in school, friends have come and gone, etc. When certain thoughts are running through my head it can get overwhelming. But in these moments I remember that everything in my life and every single trial that I am experiencing right now is happening for a reason. I have to remind myself that it could ALWAYS be worse. I've realized that it's okay to breakdown. I find myself, more often than not, praying with all that I've got. It's humbling to me to know that no matter where I'm at in life my Heavenly Father knows what I am feeling and what I am going through. Even if I find myself praying about the same thing over and over again, I am always comforted. Learning to rely on the lord and continue in my struggles has been extremely hard, but very worth it.

Saying a simple prayer helped me to get through yesterday and actually take the moments in and enjoy them. I was able to tough it out and model for Axe and then go straight to hair and makeup for a photoshoot that I had been looking forward to. Not going to lie, waking up I didn't want to do anything, even the things I was looking forward to. But continuing on showed me that even my hard days can turn out amazing. I had so much fun at my photoshoot and was all smiles, regardless of how tired I was. So think about continuing on even when things are tough. Push past the doubt you may have, push past the struggle, push past the fear and the hurt you may be feeling. Pray about it. Rely on the lord. Keep going. Don't give up. These are things I remind myself daily. And you should to.

Short, sweet and to the point.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

My Story.

Something huge for me happened today and it has inspired me to share my story. I recently became more active in the church of latter-day saints and I am asked on a daily basis, "why now?" "What changed?" "How did you do it?" So I decided that I want to share a condensed version of my story.

I was raised LDS but we were never active. I was baptized but my mom and I never went to church. Naturally I fell away from the church and wasn't making the best decisions. And for whatever reason I just decided one day that I wanted to be around better influences and start going back to church. I moved away and wasn't making all the same bad decisions but I still hadn't gone to church, I wasn't sure how to even find out about it. Finally when I moved back home, my bishop of my singles ward kept "stopping" by, of course every time he did I wasn't home. Luckily one time I was home! It happened to be a Saturday morning and I just so happened to be wearing a tank top and shorts (that I had slept in) and I was beyond embarrassed to be meeting my bishop being dressed the way I was. My bishop was so very nice which made me eager to go, he told me when and where my ward met and said he couldn't wait to see me. Then I realized I had a dilemma  I was too afraid to go to church alone. I didn't know anyone and I don't even know all that much about the church. Eventually a couple weeks later I built up the courage to go. I went and it was so scary, but also so very worth the anxiety. I made an appointment with my bishop, which was nerve-wracking because I knew I needed to repent. Surprisingly, I was comfortable about it and by January I received my temple recommend and even got the opportunity to receive my patriarchal blessing.  I've been going to church every single week since and I cannot put into words how amazing it has been. Although there have still been times of struggle, I have changed for the better and I could not be more grateful.
I don't drink or even go to parties.
I have no desire to do anything unacceptable with boys.
I don't even listen to certain types of music.
I stopped drinking coffee and tea.
I do my best not to swear.
I now don't even buy clothes unless I could wear them after going through the temple. <--- by far the hardest thing yet.

Not that I have am getting married anytime soon or going on a mission, I just figured why not make it easier on myself when the time comes. It's something I am still working on (starting since Nov 2012) and not really something I even need to do at this point in my life. But I chose to. Because frankly for me if I am going to be active I am going to live it.

I'm sure you're all wondering what the big thing is that happened to me today. I BORE MY TESTIMONY IN CHURCH!! I have never ever done this in my life. I absolutely hate talking in front of people (usually I cry regardless of where I'm speaking) I am still shocked and so proud of myself for doing this. I never thought that I would ever have the courage to do this. I mean, I have told people my story, but I've never gotten up in front of people and it felt absolutely amazing. I've always pictured it in my head but I never actually had the courage to do it. Today that changed, all thanks to somebody else's testimony. He hadn't been to church in four years, or stayed for all the sessions and the spirit was so strong for him that he got up in front of everyone and bore his testimony. It was so incredible and I have to thank him for giving me the courage and inspiration to do such a thing. I figured if he can do it, so can I. Afterwards there was a mingle and over 20 people came up to me telling me that my testimony, my words, had an impact on them. I didn't even know that was possible. Thinking about it makes me grin ear to ear like a goofball. People I have never even met or talked to had been influenced by me. This is so amazing. Especially because I become shy at church, anywhere else I'm as outgoing and could go up to anybody. I am so thankful for this gospel and the fact that my heavenly father will be there for me no matter how many mistakes I've made in the past. I know that it does not matter where I have been, it only matter where I am now and where I intend on going. If any of you would like to hear more about my journey and why I have decided to come back to the church PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am more than willing to share. And I'd love to hear your stories to. I found a video by Al Fox that actually fit perfectly and thought I should share!!

XOXO-Lexi Collins

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Big Changes.

So many thoughts are weighing on my mind. It feels like lately I've been unable to catch a break with anything. I feel as though my struggles have been branching from not being able to keep my mind off of certain things. I dwell on words that were said, things that have been done, things that need to be done, and hang on to hope with every ounce of my body.

Sometimes I think, "It'd be so easy to lower my standards, settle, or go back to the ways of my past." My mind and my heart almost never get along. I can be thinking those things and automatically my heart screams, "No, don't let these things get you down, stand up for what you believe in, hold onto hope and it will be worth it." I am so thankful for the heart that I was blessed with. Although it gets me into trouble sometimes when it comes to the ones I care and fall for. I've learned to accept my flaw of over analyzing and thinking about everything because, it isn't in fact a flaw at all. Obviously if someone or something is on my mind and in my heart, it's supposed to be there. Regardless of if it's pain or happiness, it will make me stronger than I've already grown to be.

Today was General Conference and it was absolutely amazing. I am so blessed to be a part of this church. I was talking to my best friend Lily last night and the topic of church came up. She said "Lex, if I were to tell you 3 years ago that you'd be getting up and going to conference tomorrow, you would've said I was crazy." And she is completely right, I never would have thought that I would become active in the church again, but I have and it has changed my life so much. In such a good way! I decided I wanted the gospel in my life and I want an eternal family and so I went after it. I attend church every Sunday, along with ward temple goings and the occasional FHE. It's been such a smooth transition as well, it was beyond easy for me to give up going to parties, watching rated R movies and listening to certain types of music, attending church is something I look forward to, and investing time into my scriptures is something I enjoy. It hasn't all been easy though, I made the decision around November that I was going to slowly start getting rid of every article of clothing in my closet that I cannot make modest or wear with garments. This was so tough at first because I love clothes and I have never worn any kind of shorts besides short-shorts in my life. Now months later it has become easier and easier to dress modest. I don't even buy anything unless it's something that I can wear garments with. Becoming more active has been the most amazing journey of my life. I strive to make myself better ever single day and it has been the biggest blessing that I wouldn't change for the world. Things may be rocky in other aspects of my life but this is the one thing that I know I can always count on and that brings peace into my mind :)