I've learned to realize that as we put our trust in Heavenly Fathers plan and strive to better ourselves within the gospel true happiness can be found. I know that Heavenly Father has a hand in even the smallest aspects of our lives. Literally he knows exactly when and where things need to be placed. I know that I went through these four years, to get me to where I am now. I know that even on the bad days there are tender mercies to be found. I was writing one of my close friends who is currently serving an LDS Mission and I wrote the following:
I keep thinking to myself, 'wow this is a feeling I've been missing out on for so long, I feel like it's too good to be true, I never want it to end.' Seriously I am genuinely happy and so immensely blessed because of this gospel. Don't get me wrong, I still go through trials every single day. Life isn't easy. And sometimes living by the standards of the gospel can be an tiring process, but this happiness is so worth it. For example I wrote this about two weeks ago:
"You know those times when you feel as though, 'I want one thing to turn out, just for once I want things to work.' As I was thinking those exact same things this morning I came to the realization that the one thing in my life that has consistently worked out is putting faith into this gospel and receiving the strength to push past whatever difficult moment I am facing, regardless of if it's big or small. Within this faith I know that things WILL eventually work, with school, with my career, with family, with financial situations, with dating, etc. Lately there have been random unexplained moments of difficulty in my life, but I know as I keep trying and keep putting my best effort in, things will work out."
And it's true. Depending upon this gospel has brought so many blessings and so much happiness into my life. It doesn't depend on the guy I am dating, the fact that I am in need of a better paying job, or that I am unsure weather I'll be able to pursue my dream career. Although yes all of these things working out would be great, they are simply bonuses that ADD to my happiness, NOT make or break my happiness.
Depression is real, but so is this happiness. I am thankful for both because they have allowed me to grow. Your trials have the possibility to shape you and lead you to this happiness. Take your trials and turn them into triumphs.