My Story.

Something huge for me happened today and it has inspired me to share my story. I recently became more active in the church of latter-day saints and I am asked on a daily basis, "why now?" "What changed?" "How did you do it?" So I decided that I want to share a condensed version of my story.

I was raised LDS but we were never active. I was baptized but my mom and I never went to church. Naturally I fell away from the church and wasn't making the best decisions. And for whatever reason I just decided one day that I wanted to be around better influences and start going back to church. I moved away and wasn't making all the same bad decisions but I still hadn't gone to church, I wasn't sure how to even find out about it. Finally when I moved back home, my bishop of my singles ward kept "stopping" by, of course every time he did I wasn't home. Luckily one time I was home! It happened to be a Saturday morning and I just so happened to be wearing a tank top and shorts (that I had slept in) and I was beyond embarrassed to be meeting my bishop being dressed the way I was. My bishop was so very nice which made me eager to go, he told me when and where my ward met and said he couldn't wait to see me. Then I realized I had a dilemma  I was too afraid to go to church alone. I didn't know anyone and I don't even know all that much about the church. Eventually a couple weeks later I built up the courage to go. I went and it was so scary, but also so very worth the anxiety. I made an appointment with my bishop, which was nerve-wracking because I knew I needed to repent. Surprisingly, I was comfortable about it and by January I received my temple recommend and even got the opportunity to receive my patriarchal blessing.  I've been going to church every single week since and I cannot put into words how amazing it has been. Although there have still been times of struggle, I have changed for the better and I could not be more grateful.
SOME THINGS I HAVE CHANGED SINCE NOV 2012:
I don't drink or even go to parties.
I have no desire to do anything unacceptable with boys.
I don't even listen to certain types of music.
I stopped drinking coffee and tea.
I do my best not to swear.
I now don't even buy clothes unless I could wear them after going through the temple. <--- by far the hardest thing yet.

Not that I have am getting married anytime soon or going on a mission, I just figured why not make it easier on myself when the time comes. It's something I am still working on (starting since Nov 2012) and not really something I even need to do at this point in my life. But I chose to. Because frankly for me if I am going to be active I am going to live it.

I'm sure you're all wondering what the big thing is that happened to me today. I BORE MY TESTIMONY IN CHURCH!! I have never ever done this in my life. I absolutely hate talking in front of people (usually I cry regardless of where I'm speaking) I am still shocked and so proud of myself for doing this. I never thought that I would ever have the courage to do this. I mean, I have told people my story, but I've never gotten up in front of people and it felt absolutely amazing. I've always pictured it in my head but I never actually had the courage to do it. Today that changed, all thanks to somebody else's testimony. He hadn't been to church in four years, or stayed for all the sessions and the spirit was so strong for him that he got up in front of everyone and bore his testimony. It was so incredible and I have to thank him for giving me the courage and inspiration to do such a thing. I figured if he can do it, so can I. Afterwards there was a mingle and over 20 people came up to me telling me that my testimony, my words, had an impact on them. I didn't even know that was possible. Thinking about it makes me grin ear to ear like a goofball. People I have never even met or talked to had been influenced by me. This is so amazing. Especially because I become shy at church, anywhere else I'm as outgoing and could go up to anybody. I am so thankful for this gospel and the fact that my heavenly father will be there for me no matter how many mistakes I've made in the past. I know that it does not matter where I have been, it only matter where I am now and where I intend on going. If any of you would like to hear more about my journey and why I have decided to come back to the church PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am more than willing to share. And I'd love to hear your stories to. I found a video by Al Fox that actually fit perfectly and thought I should share!!

XOXO-Lexi Collins

Big Changes.

So many thoughts are weighing on my mind. It feels like lately I've been unable to catch a break with anything. I feel as though my struggles have been branching from not being able to keep my mind off of certain things. I dwell on words that were said, things that have been done, things that need to be done, and hang on to hope with every ounce of my body.

Sometimes I think, "It'd be so easy to lower my standards, settle, or go back to the ways of my past." My mind and my heart almost never get along. I can be thinking those things and automatically my heart screams, "No, don't let these things get you down, stand up for what you believe in, hold onto hope and it will be worth it." I am so thankful for the heart that I was blessed with. Although it gets me into trouble sometimes when it comes to the ones I care and fall for. I've learned to accept my flaw of over analyzing and thinking about everything because, it isn't in fact a flaw at all. Obviously if someone or something is on my mind and in my heart, it's supposed to be there. Regardless of if it's pain or happiness, it will make me stronger than I've already grown to be.

Today was General Conference and it was absolutely amazing. I am so blessed to be a part of this church. I was talking to my best friend Lily last night and the topic of church came up. She said "Lex, if I were to tell you 3 years ago that you'd be getting up and going to conference tomorrow, you would've said I was crazy." And she is completely right, I never would have thought that I would become active in the church again, but I have and it has changed my life so much. In such a good way! I decided I wanted the gospel in my life and I want an eternal family and so I went after it. I attend church every Sunday, along with ward temple goings and the occasional FHE. It's been such a smooth transition as well, it was beyond easy for me to give up going to parties, watching rated R movies and listening to certain types of music, attending church is something I look forward to, and investing time into my scriptures is something I enjoy. It hasn't all been easy though, I made the decision around November that I was going to slowly start getting rid of every article of clothing in my closet that I cannot make modest or wear with garments. This was so tough at first because I love clothes and I have never worn any kind of shorts besides short-shorts in my life. Now months later it has become easier and easier to dress modest. I don't even buy anything unless it's something that I can wear garments with. Becoming more active has been the most amazing journey of my life. I strive to make myself better ever single day and it has been the biggest blessing that I wouldn't change for the world. Things may be rocky in other aspects of my life but this is the one thing that I know I can always count on and that brings peace into my mind :)

Untrue things hurt the worst, but power through it, for it'll make you strong.

"Untrue things hurt the worst, but power through it, for it'll make you stronger."

I titled today's post because lately I feel as though a lot of people around me have suddenly become very judgmental.  Certain thoughts were brought to my attention and I was honestly SHOCKED, I still am. Apparently I have been called selfish towards people, full of myself and scandalous. I know that everybody is going to be judged at some point in their lives but I cannot even think of one way that I have ever been selfish or scandalous, as far as full of myself, I do model, but I do not model for myself or to take pretty pictures, I model in hopes that I will inspire someone to follow and accomplish their dreams. When I care for someone I would do absolutely anything for them. Plain and simple, I go out of my way daily to do something for someone other than myself and yet I am selfish? Scandalous, when I've kissed less people than I can count on my own two hands?
Normally such accusations would never phase me or my confidence, but they came from two people that I care about more than my own self. That is the only reason why I would sit and question myself, "Am I selfish?, Am I full of myself, Am I scandalous? Why do they think that about me? If someone I care for so much thinks that, what do others think?" Tears fall down my cheeks as I am writing this,  I have considered all situations and know that I am not selfish and I am far from scandalous and full of myself. Honestly it is hard for me to open up about this, but it's been weighing on my mind every second since I heard it. And it's killing me. I know that I am stronger than that, and I shouldn't let something so little affect me so much, but it has. Mainly I think it has affected me so much because of the people it came from. Not just anyone, but people who I have loved and been there for on more than one occasion for a very long time. People who I hold near and dear to my heart. I thought to myself, there's no WAY they think that about me after everything we've been through and how well we knew each other, but I thought wrong. It saddens my heart more than ever that they have this picture of me in their heads. And I would do anything to change it. But I cannot change how they think of me, I can only hold my head tall and keep being me, proving them wrong each day. This is the exact reason why I choose not to judge others, because you never know how it can hurt somebody and you may not know how untrue that judgmental comment is. I strive to be a better person each day, even if it's in the littlest ways, like holding open the door or making it my goal to make someone laugh. I know that we are not put on this earth to live easy lives and we are going to be put through trials. At first for some reason I was afraid to pray about this because I knew if I did I'd be bawling the whole time, I managed to get through a prayer or two and it has helped me to realize that I can be strong and become a better person by focusing on not so much what these two think of me but what I, as well as those who truly know me think.
I wrote about this to let everyone know that people will always judge and try to hurt you while they are hurting themselves, but don't let it get under your skin because only YOU KNOW YOURSELF. I said a prayer for those who said certain things about me and asked that their minds realize that words can hurt and asked that they won't take their own pain out on others, if that was the case. They are now aware I know what has been said, I hope with all my heart that they realize no matter what they have said about me I still care for them and will be there regardless, because that's the person I am. If anyone reading this has felt judged and is struggling, I am here for you. Even if we've never talked before you can confide in me, because like you I have felt judged and I know you're strong, even if you don't<3

Other than that, 
I know it's been awhile since I wrote last! I've been so busy between school and helping out around the house (we're remodeling)! Fun I know. School has been crazy busy since I will be going to Mexico in about a week and I am trying to get ahead in each class. It' s going pretty well so far and I'm getting super excited for my trip!


-Miss LC

Just Simply Amazing!

So I  have a crazy experience that I need to write down! "We got a lot to learn, god knows we're worth it." This song made me think of what I experienced. On Saturday I went to Summer Jams with some friends and met some awesome people. Mainly it was me, my friend Ceciley & two guys. We went to a party where there was alcohol and because Ceciley and I do not drink the boys decided to not drink as well. The boy I was hanging out with had been drinking earlier and when he noticed I wasn't drinking he decided to stop. I told him I didn't mind and he could if he wanted to because it didn't offend me and he still decided to not drink. This was super impressive to me. It made me have a lot of respect for both of the guys. We went to a park after and Ceciley was off talking to her guy and I was talking to the one I was with. We talked about so much. Mainly about how he wanted to stop drinking and asked how I did it. He asked if I did it because I was LDS and I let him know that I did it for my own personal reasons and the church only helped support in my decision. I told him how I have come back to the church and how my life has been so blessed since. He asked about the church and I did my best to explain. He said "But I've done some things that aren't the best." I told him that with being LDS you can be forgiven for all of that, and repent, our heavenly father loves everyone and nobody is perfect. I then explained how I have made mistakes and have some things that I need to repent for. I let him know that I am still learning myself. He said it's scary to him. And I could not relate more. I have started all over, staying away from friends who do not have the same beliefs. It hasn't been the easiest. And I understand. Going to church is intimidating. I feel like I should know a lot more than I do. I told him that. Having a best friend like Ceciley has helped me SO much. She is honestly one of the most inspiring people. She has made me want to be a better person, honestly I can say she is the most amazing person I have ever met. I usually don't go around telling people about my religion but this was different. I felt like I just knew what to say, I was comfortable talking with him. And that NEVER happens. I feel like even if everything I was saying wasn't perfect, it felt that way. It felt amazing to bare my testimony in a sense, I've never really done that before. It felt so good. The boys decided to go to church with Cec and I the next day. In Sunday school we were talking about the book of Alma and how he was not perfect and was able to come to the church. I swear that every single thing I had mentioned the night before somehow came up in church. The spirit was so unbelievably strong. I'm not sure if he noticed what I had mentioned was mentioned in church but I definitely did. And I can say it was one of the most amazing experiences that I have had. After church we went to the boys' house, changed into sweats and made cookies. As we were leaving the house I heard "So we'll see you at church next Sunday" it came from the boys and Ceciley and I were shocked. It was awesome. I'm not sure how this gospel works but I do know that it is inspirational and amazing and so many other things. I love going to church and learning. I love letting others know how I feel about the church. And I love experiences like these. I have them everyday more and more and I am so thankful. Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways! I'm just lucky to be able to recognize some of the ways in which he works. It's simply just amazing!

This picture is honestly amazing<3 Ties it all together. Every person sins differently. Some sin a little, others sin a lot. It does not matter. The Savior does not judge us by where we have been, he only judges us by where we are going.

Miss LC Get To Know Me.

Hello Bloggers:) 

So I love writing and decided on a whim that I was going to start a blog! My name is Lexi but most call me LC! Some random facts about myself:

• I love bright colors...Coral is my absolute favorite though.
• I am proudly LDS :)
• I absolutely love to travel.
• I am super spontaneous!
• I'm single...for now. 
• My major is nursing.
• A passion of mine has to do with modeling. 
• Addicted to Nordstroms & Victoras Secret, I know bad addictions
• Favorite food: Italian. 

Have any other questions feel free to ask!:) I hope that you enjoy reading future blogs of mine!